Sex, Money and Recycling

It used to be sex, money and the kids. Now recycling (and green lifestyle choices in general) has joined the list of hot triggers for marital conflicts, according to a recent story in the New York Times.

All the couples in the story run into the same trouble. The women want to make small changes in the home - start a worm composter, eat more vegetarian meals etc. The men oppose and dismiss the changes as "sweating the small stuff". There is even a "scientific" explanation from a counsellor along the lines that men typically want to focus on one big thing and are not interested in small things.

Personally, I dislike stereotyping and bigotry so, like Queen Victoria, "I was not amused". But there was a kernel of truth in the story that I believe is worth exploring: the tension between people who take small steps and those who scoff at such changes in the name of the big picture. These two camps show up in almost any conversation about the environment - including the ones we play in our own head.

How often have you decided to make a particular change, say take the bus instead of driving, and then given up a few weeks later? The weather was foul, you were late and "what difference is it going to make anyway"?

The voice that reminds us how puny our efforts are compared to the magnitude of the challenge can be terribly undermining. But it is also the voice of reality, and without it, we can get smug and complacent - uncomfortably like the stereotypical "holier-than-thou" environmentalist the media love to deride.

It's a difficult line to walk but, as so often, we can rely on Gandhi's wise counsel: "Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it."